World's Shortest Post

I just wanted to write this post to say…

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

…to all of you, my readers.

I sincerely hope you all had a wonderful day celebrating the commemoration of the Birth of Christ!

~LynZ Media Thoughts


PS - I promise my Desolation of Smaug post is coming soon!

Serenity

I'm back!  The semester ended about two days ago now, so I celebrated my new-found freedom from academia  by watching a movie that really wasn't my first choice; Serenity.  I really wish I'd gone to see Desolation of Smaug again (Hobbit 2 post on its way in the near future).

Serenity is the movie that was made to kind of tie up all the loose ends from the TV show Firefly, which - some would say sadly - met a premature end after only one season.

But, since shows usually only go offair once their viewership decreases to a certain point, why weren't more seasons of Firefly made if it is so popular?

Only Joss Whedon, Firefly and Serenity's creator and writer, would know at this point.

Regardless, I wouldn't even be watching Serenity now (yes, I'm about an hour and 37 minutes into the movie as I write) if I hadn't been graciously included in a movie night where the first two episodes of Firefly were streamed from Netflix.  Later, having run out of fresh Dr. Who episodes, and floating somewhere between the first and second Hobbit movies, I decided to revisit the remaining 12 episodes of the show (another tragedy for die-hard fans; only 14 episodes of the original Firefly series were made).  I found them all to be rather vulgar and gruesome The fact that the movie was too gruesome for me is saying a lot, coming from the kid who's favorite movie is Passion of the Christ, and who was the only person in a group of six who actually enjoyed the Spider battle scene from Desolation of Smaug.  The Uruk Hai don't bother me.  The Reavers do.  Always have.  Always will.

Which brings me to an interesting point I will mention in a bit.

In Firefly, we met the crew of Serenity, a Firefly class spaceship in the future.  It would probably be important to note at this point that Earth was getting to the point were it could no longer sustain Human life, so "we" (being the people of futuristic planet Earth) set out and found what Captain Kirk would describe as a cluster of Class M planets to inhabit.  Well, okay, these new planets were terraformed to create atmospheres suitable for Human life.

Then, some of the planet leaders (as futuristic planet leaders usually do) got together and said, "Hey, let's form an alliance between all of these new planets, and we'll run things like a big old dictatorship!"  Which is pretty much what they set out to do.  Some people don't like that idea very much, and a big war ensues.  Ultimately, the Resistance (the guys who don't like the whole alliance idea) lose the battle and disperse, while the Alliance takes control.

The End.

Well, not quite.

Two of those Resistance people were Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds and Zoe Washburn.  After the battle, Mal buys a Firefly spaceship, and he and Zoe set off to make an undercover, if not slightly illegal, living for themselves.  They are joined by Hoban "Wash" Washburn (who later marries Zoe), Jayne Cobb (the source of the majority of the show's crass humor), Kaylee Frye (who happens to be the same chick who got kidnapped by Carl Wade back in the X-Files episode "Oubliette"), and Inara Serra (their sponsor/resident prostitute).

Since Firefly, and its descendent Serenity, are what you might call "steampunk", there's a lot of western lingo and an all around cowboy feeling to both the show and the movie.

Anywho, at the beginning of the one and only season of Firefly, Mal and Company land on a planet to try to pick up some work (that is, smuggling, theft, you name it).  They pick up two noteworthy passengers, Shepherd Book (a pastor) and Simon Tam (a doctor who seems to be hiding something).  Turns out Simon is on the run from the Alliance with his little sister, River, who he has managed to smuggle out of Alliance territory and onto Mal's Firefly by having her body frozen in a cryogenics tank and brought on board with his luggage.

We learn as we make our way through the series that River is being hunted by the Alliance because she was a key instrument in weird and bazaar science experiments.  They've cut into her brain and turned her into a maniac killing machine with mental problems and an ability to read minds.

However, we don't learn about the killing machine part of the picture until Serenity.

Is it possible that River Tam is related to River Song?  No idea.  But, they're both very handy with weapons.

Anyway, whereas Firefly was mostly about Mal and Co.'s various jobs and adventures evading the watchful eyes of the Alliance, Serenity seems more focused on River and her problems.  More specifically, about the things she learned when she was accidentally exposed to people with super secret information that no one was supposed to know about.  At the time, no one thought it would hurt to have these super cool people with their super secret information observe River during her tests.  Later, it is pointed out that she was probably able to read their minds.  The images of what she learned from reading the minds of the guys with the super secret information haunts her in her dreams, and torments her.  This partially explains her out of control behavior.  But, only partially.

At about Serenity's half way point, she convinces Mal and Company to investigate a planet she remembers only from this super secret information she learned from reading the guy's mind back when she was a lab rat (if you think this is complicated, go watch Dr. Who).  On that planet, they make the slightly stereotypical discovery that the government (in this case, the Alliance) has been hiding things from the general public.

What's their secret?

Back to the Reavers from earlier.

I still don't like them.  They're disgusting, gruesome, horrible creatures that make the Orcs of Mordor seem well-mannered.  Interestingly enough, we never actually see the Reavers themselves until Serenity.  During the Firefly series, we hear about them, we see their ships chasing other spaceships, and we catch rather grisly glimpses of their destructive natures when Mal and Company board a dead ship and discover its crew dismembered and hanging from the ceiling in a big nasty chandelier of clumped body parts.  Yuck.  See why I hate these guys?  We also meet a guy who someone survived a Reaver attack (a feat in and of itself), but was driven so insane by the incident that he mutilated himself and started acting like one.  Yeah, I forgot to mention, the Reavers are known for mutilating their own bodies.  No one knows why.

Anywho, on the super secret planet that River Tam leads everyone to, they find a bunch of decaying skeletons lying around.  They find out from a 12 year old holograph recording that the Alliance had been pumping a few chemical into their atmosphere to relieve stress and tension.  But, instead of just causing everyone to stop worrying and hating each other, they stopped doing everything else too.  And so, they all just let themselves die.  Quite literally.

Except a few.

There were a few people who were effected differently by the new drug in the air.  Instead of calming them, it made them more aggressive, to the point of insanity.  They ceased to speak normal English or Chinese (the people of the Serenity/Firefly world are heavily influenced by Chinese culture).  They began to mutilate themselves, and started cannibalizing the few remaining people who didn't let themselves die and who weren't driven insane (how were these people not effected if they were all breathing the same infected air?).

In essence, the Alliance's experiment with the calming air drug created the Reavers.  But, they really don't want everyone to know about that.

Mal is determined to expose this truth to the world.  But, first they have to fight off an assassin who's on a mission to find River and take her back to the Alliance lab.  Second, in order to get to and/or from the super secret planet where all of this super secret stuff took place, they have to pass through Reaver territory, which makes sense considering that the Reavers originated on that planet.

A battle ensues.  Reavers attack.  Mal's still on a mission to expose the Alliance, and his crew is waging a suicide mission against the attacking Reavers to buy him some time.

Oh joy.

So, does Serenity have anything going for it?

Well, I did notice the special effects are better on the film than were those in the original Firefly television series.  The fighting sequences were more intense (mostly due to the advanced special effects).

But, I can also so that watching Serenity in the theatre would have made me sick.  During one battle sequence, there was a lot of spinning action as a spaceship spun out of control before finally coming to a rather jerky crash landing.

River's karate is pretty cool, though.  Yes, she spends her first couple of fight scenes fighting innocent people she's been psycho-induced to believe are bad guys.  But, when up against hundreds of Reaver's, her killing machine skills are invaluable.  Oh, and it is also important to note that she risks her own life to ensure the safety of her brother and the remaining Serenity crew members during their "final stand" against the Reavers.

Another positive, I guess, is Mal's overall character.  He complains about it, "Why did I have to rescue so and such?"  Someone points out to him that its not in his character to not help people.  Even after several falling-outs with Simon regarding River, Mal still takes them both back onto the ship for protection.  When Inara is potentially in danger, he doesn't hesitate to rush to her aid, even at the risk of his own life.  In the end, he's bleeding and probably on his way out, and still refusing to kill his would-be murderer, instead trapping the guy in a position where he is forced to watch the broadcasting of the 12 year old super secret recording, thus forcing him to face the truth about the guys he works for (the Alliance).

But, at the end of the day, (or the beginning of the day, as it is now about 1:15am as I write this), I'd have to say I'll still take The Hobbit and Passion over Serenity and Firefly any day.  For me, there's just too much overly inappropriate content in both the film and series to justify multiple viewings.  The story may sound cool, and the whole thing about the Alliance conspiracies and cover-ups is (as always) quite interesting.  It's one of those deep, complex story-lines where you don't see anything coming, but once you know what's going on, it's fun to go back and find all the evidence inconspicuously located throughout film and TV series.  But, it's just not worth your time or energy (unless you like swearing and crass humor, albeit a lot of the swearing is done in Chinese).

For me, it's just not worth it.  The inappropriate content in general (language and sexual) as well as the disgustingly disturbing Reavers out weight any reasons I could give for watching Serenity again.

There are much better, cleaner sci fi conspiracy movies out there.

For more details about the overall content of Serenity, visit;

http://www.pluggedin.com/videos/2005/q4/serenity.aspx

and/or

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379786/parentalguide?ref_=tt_stry_pg

PS - If you're sitting there wondering, "If you think this is such a waste of time, why did you watch it in the first place?", that's a valid question.  And frankly, I don't really know.  While I am honestly interested in Simon and River's story, I guess I was mainly curious to see how the story ended.  The last episode of Firefly was hardly a satisfactory one, so I was hoping for a better ending to the story.  Although the end of Serenity wasn't nearly as dumb as the end of Firefly episode 14, it still left the story more or less open ended, a sort of baby cliff hanger that could potentially lead to another movie.  But, it's been about eight years since Serenity, and no one's made any attempts at a sequel yet.

The Desolation of Smaug...predicted

Now, I don't mean I'm going to "tell the future" or anything like that.

I'm just going to make some basic assumptions about the upcoming Hobbit movie based on the two previews that have been released those far.

The Desolation of Smaug

1. We'll meet up with Bilbo, Gandalf, and the Thirteen Dwarves int he general vicinity of where we left them in An Unexpected Journey, near that rock pillar the Eagles placed them after their battle with Azog and the Wargs.

2. After some walking (and potentially some moaning), Gandalf will take them to stay with his buddy, Beorn the Shapeshifter, who can turn himself into a bear when needed.

3. Beorn will loan them ponies, and they will set off for Mirkwood.  Thorin, however, will give Gandalf a big stink about going to Mirkwood, since that happens to be the Kingdom of the Woodland Elves, ruled by Thranduil, who also happens to be the same Elf King who refused to help Thorin's people after Smaug attacked Erebor (as we saw in Unexpected Journey).  We may even get a nice little debate between Gandalf and Thorin on this matter.

4. They reach Mirkwood, and send the ponies back to Beorn.  Gandalf informs them that he's going off on his own adventure, and he'll meet up with them later.  He gives them very basic instructions, "Don't leave the path, and don't drink the river water."

5. But, they don't listen, and get lost.

6. They send Bilbo up a tree to see how close they are to the other side of the forest.  At the top, Bilbo finds beautiful scenery and lovely butterflies, but no sign of the other side of the forest.

7. Shortly thereafter, they are assaulted and captured by giant spiders (none other than those spiders we saw crawling away from Radagast's house in Unexpected Journey).  Bilbo is the only one who manages to escape.  With the help of his magic ring, he fights off the spiders and frees the Dwarves...

8.  ...Who are then promptly captured by the Elves of Mirkwood.  Bilbo escapes again with his magic ring, but follows close behind them.

9a. The Elves take the Dwarves (and Bilbo follows) to Thranduil.  Somehow, the truth about their quest comes out (whether Thranduil guesses this or one of the Dwarves tells him remains to be seen).  But, for one reason or another, Thranduil agrees to help them.  And, shock of shocks, Thorin accepts his help.  But, from what I've gathered from the preview, the Dwarves still don't trust Thranduil or his Elves.

9b. The other possibility here is that, when the Elves take the Dwarves to Thranduil, they refuse to say anything, and are therefore locked up in the Elves's prison.  This would be more accurate to the book, and I'm personally looking forward to watching this scene in the movie.  The only reason I have a feeling it won't quite turn out like this is that in the first preview, Thranduil seems to know a lot more about the Quest than he should ("A Quest to reclaim a Homeland, and slay a dragon.").

10. Regardless of what happens, Bilbo (who is still wearing his magic ring) helps the Dwarves escape by having them ride down a river in barrels.  This is an iconic Hobbit moment, so I'm really hoping Peter Jackson and Company haven't totally killed it.

11. After floating in their barrels for a while, they all eventually end up in Laketown, which is a town built on the lake near the ruins of Dale (the Human town Smaug destroyed when he attacked Erebor).

12. Meanwhile, Gandalf goes to the ruins of Dol Guldor to investigate what Radagast has told him about the Necromancer.  While there, he discovers the tombs of the 9 former kings-turned-wraiths broken open, indicating that they have (somehow) been brought back to life as the 9 Black Riders.  While, I do not believe this to be strictly true to the book, it is kind of a nice tie-in to the LOTR trilogy.

13. Radagast also happens to be in Dol Guldor, and Gandalf finds him there.  While they're there, they are separated by an invisible force field wall (kind of like something out of Star Trek or Doctor Who).  They are attacked by Orcs.

14. This is not indicated in the previews at all, but I'm going to make the basic assumption that Radagast isn't really Radagast in this section of the movie.  Radagast has done his bit of investigation, so (to me, at least) it seems unlikely that he would return to Dol Guldor for any reason.  It is my opinion that who we think is Radagast is really Sauron in disguise.  I have simple reasons for thinking this;

1. We know we'll meet Sauron eventually since they've got a guy listed as the character on the movie's IMDb page (and I trust IMDb)
2. "Radagast" and Gandalf are separated by the force field thing in Dol Guldor.  If Sauron and the Orcs wanted both Gandalf and Radagast dead, why separate them?
3. The other thing is Radagast's line (from the 1st preview), "One of us are trapped."  Why only one?  That, to me, indicates that "Radagast" actually "knows" what's going on, and that the trap has actually be set for Gandalf, and therefore Radagast isn't really Radagast at all.

It's entirely possibly that I'm over-thinking this.  But, I do think it is possible.

15. Meanwhile, Thorin and Company continue walking, and eventually reach the location of the secret door.  They find the keyhole, and Thorin uses his key to open the door.  They send Bilbo in to investigate.

16. Bilbo finds himself in the vast treasure room of Erebor.  But, the gold isn't the only thing there.  Smaug reveals himself (at last!).  And here occurs Bilbo and Smaug's iconic Hobbit conversation (which I know is going to be in the movie because part of it is in the 2nd preview, and Martin Freeman said it was in the movie himself during an interview).

17. Bilbo returns to the Dwarves.  Smaug comes out, and the Dwarves just manage to get inside before Smaug destroys the secret door.

18.  Smaug then flies off to attack Laketown, but is eventually brought down by Bard the Bowman, thus ending his reign of terror.  I'm assuming this scene will be the climax, since the movie is entitled The Desolation of Smaug.

19. Whether or not the movie will end there or if they'll show the Dwarves wandering into the treasure room, I don't know.  But, in my opinion, I think it would be cool if they ended the movie by panning over to the piles of gold, and then slowly zooming in on where we can just see a piece of the Arkenstone sticking out of the pile.  I think that would be a beautiful tie-in to the 3rd Hobbit movie, because the Arkenstone will become an important factor in that movie.

So, those are my basic assumptions about how the movie will play out.  By no means am I saying this is exactly what will happen, nor will I be upset if some of my assumptions turn out to be wrong.   This is just a series of educated guesses based on the previews I have seen, and what I know about the book.  I'll have to wait until December to find out if any of it is right or not.  

About 63 more days until The Desolation of Smaug hits theaters!  Are you ready?

The Other Hobbit Trailer

For those of us who have been waiting for the 2nd Desolation of Smaug trailer, here is it!    I think we're at about 73 days until the Desolation of Smaug opens in theaters.  I don't know about you, but I'm very excited!

As I watched the trailers, I have already noticed a few things that are (possibly inexcusably) different from the book.  But, I will not make that judgement until I see the movie.

This is, also, the first time I've gotten to hear Benedict Cumberbatch voice the role of Smaug.  He did an excellent job as William Pitt, Sherlock Holmes, and Khan, so I was interested to learn that he was voicing Smaug (and Sauron?).  I think, as with the rest of the cast, Peter Jackson and the casting directors have chosen the perfect guy for the part.

I'm also very happy to see Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, and the rest of the gang return for the continuation of the adventures of Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Oakenshield, and Company.  

I'm imagining there was a "happy reunion" between Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, who — as some may know — also co-star together in BBC's Sherlock.  In fact, they took a break while filming The Hobbit so that Mr. Freeman could run back to England to film Sherlock season 2.

I'll have more comments about The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug later, probably after the movie comes out (I don't want to spoil anything for anyone).  But, in the meantime, please do enjoy the previews!

The Misty Mountain Song…dissected

This is notably my favorite of Tolkien's songs from The Hobbit.  Maybe because of the song in the movie?  Maybe because of the way Tolkien paints such vivid depictions of what the song is describing?  I don't have the whole thing committed to memory, but I'm working on it.  Although, it must also be noted that my favorite LOTR song would have to be:

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with weary feet,

Until it meets some larger way,

Where many paths and errands meet.

And wither then?  I cannot say.

(Frodo, The Fellowship of the Ring, Chapter Three: Three is Company)

I have that one committed to memory.  Eventually, I'll take the time to write a post about it.  But, for now, let's just focus on...

Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold

by J. R. R. Tolkien

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away ere break of day 

To seek the pale enchanted gold.

The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,

While hammers fell like ringing bells

In places deep, where dark things sleep,

In hollow halls beneath the fells.

For ancient king and elvish lord

There many a gleaming golden hoard

They shaped and wrought, and light they caught

To hide in gems on hilt of sword.

On silver necklaces they strung 

The flowering stars, on crowns they hung

The dragon-fire, in twisted wire 

They meshed the light of moon and sun. 

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We away, ere break of day,

To claim our long-forgotten gold.

Goblets they carved there for themselves

And harps of gold; where no man delves

There lay they long, and many a song

Was sung unheard by men or elves.

The pines were roaring on the height,

The winds were moaning in the night.

The fire was red, it flaming spread;

The trees like torches blazed with light.

The bells were ringing in the dale 

And men looked up with faces pale;

Then dragon's ire more fierce than fire

Laid low their towers and houses frail.

The mountain smoked beneath the moon;

The dwarves, they heard the tramp of doom.

They fled their hall to dying fall

Beneath his feet, beneath the moon.

Far over the misty mountains grim

To dungeons deep and caverns dim

We must away, ere break of day,

To win our harps and gold from him!

Tagline:

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away, ere break of day,

To find our long-forgotten gold.

I call that last stanza a "tagline" because I really don't now what else to call it.  It is sort of part of the song, but it's set apart from the rest of the song by a good thirteen pages (according to my book).  The song, itself, is sung by all thirteen dwarves in Bilbo's living room, while the "tagline" is sung only by Thorin, when he's alone in Bilbo's guest room (presumably as he's falling sleep) thirteen pages later.

Now, those of you who saw An Unexpected Journey may be thinking, "But, the song in the movie wasn't that long."  No, it wasn't.  The song in the movie (arranged by Howard Shore, and sung by Richard Armitage, et al.) only consisted of one stanza and the "tagline" of the original song, probably due to time restraint:

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away, ere break of day,

To find our long-forgotten gold.

The pines were roaring on the height,

The winds were moaning in the night.

The fire was red, it flaming spread;

The trees like torches blazed with light.

In all fairness, they did try to get some of the other stanzas in there.  If you listen really carefully to Bilbo's opening narration, you can hear slight variations of some of the other stanzas.  I suggest watching the 8-10 minute prologue with the subtitles on and a copy of the entire song in hand.  You will recognize some of the details.

What Is This Song?

As far as I can tell, it's a Ballad of Remembrance created and sung by the Dwarfs to help remind them of the tragic events of the loss of The Lonely Mountain.  

Why A Song of Remembrance?

The cultures of the various peoples of Middle Earth -  Men, Elves, Dwarves, Hobbits, etc. — seem to be steeped in oral tradition.  Occasionally, someone will write a book or song (such as Bilbo chronicling his adventures, and later when Frodo writes down his own adventures), but most written materials are the chronicles of certain kings, or personal letters from one Hobbit to a certain group of Dwarves in a Mountain far away (for example).  

The people of Middle Earth make up songs and ballads for important events (Aragorn's coronation), tragic events (the loss of Erebor, the death of Boromir, etc.), or just because they can (Pippin's bath song).  Sometimes it feels like there's a song for everything:

I stubbed my toe

On a rock.

It hurt so badly,

And there was blood.

My foot is bruised.

We really need shoes

To save our feet 

From rock and thorn.

Okay, maybe its' not that bad.  But, you get the idea.  (And, yes, I made up that example.)

Who Needs to Be Reminded?

Pretty much everyone.  

The dwarves teach their future generations of the tragic loss of Erebor in the same way we teach future generations about World War 2 or September 11th.  We even have songs about September 11th (There She Stands by Michael W. Smith, etc.).  

The loss of Erebor to Smaug, although tragic, is part of Dwarf history, just as September 11th is part of ours.  We teach our kids about September 11th because it is important for future generations to know what happened on that day, why the world is the way it is now, and also so that the memory of the people who died will not be lost.  

It's the same with Erebor.  It is important for younger generations of Dwarves to learn about what happened so that they have a better understanding of why the world they live in is the way it is, so that they understand why a Dwarf Prince labors at an anvil in a village of Men, and so that the memory of Smaug's many victims will not be forgotten.

I was nine years old when the World Trade Center came down, so I don't remember it very well.  The only evidence that I even knew something had happened is a picture I drew of the towers exploding (not historically accurate, I know, but I was nine).  My little brothers were about 3 and 2, and my little sisters weren't born yet, so I kinda doubt they have any memories of 9/11.  

Fili and Kili weren't born yet, and their mother (Thorin's sister, Dis) was about 10, when Erebor was attacked (and taken) by Smaug.  According to the "family tree" I located in Appendix A of Return of the King, Dwalin, Oin, and Gloin weren't born yet, either.

In fact, I'm willing to bet that the only members of Thorin's company who actually lived in Erebor prior to the attack, and witnessed said attack were Thorin and Balin.

Therefore, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, and Kili all heard the tale through oral tradition.  More than likely, Dori, Nori, Ori, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur all learned about it in the same way.  Hearing the story told by Thorin or Balin would be like listening to a World Trade Center or Pentagon survivor recount their personal experiences on September 11th.

They all sing the song, not because they personally remember what happened, but because they don't.  The song is all they know about what life was like before Smaug attacked.  The song is all they know about the splendor of the Dwarves' Mighty Halls of The Lonely Mountain.  

I don't know about anyone else, but when I think about this, I imagine Thorin sitting in a rocking chair with Fili and Kili curled up in his lap, swinging Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold to them as they drift off to sleep.  And, although his voice is level and soothing, a tear rolls down his cheek.

So, In Bilbo's Living Room…

…Most of them sing the song in memory of the event, and also to remind them of the true purpose for their quest.  

What Does the Song Mean?

The first stanza is just kind of an introduction to the song, and also the Quest of Thorin and Company:

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away ere break of day 

To seek the pale enchanted gold.

The next five stanzas tell of the grandeur and splendor of the Halls of Erebor.  They speak of the mighty craftsmanship of the Dwarves, and the many treasures forged by the smiths and jewelers of the Mountain.  Consider the fourth stanza down to be like a chorus, something to refocus the singer on the reason for the song, and, therefore, the reason for the Quest of Thorin and Company:

The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,

While hammers fell like ringing bells

In places deep, where dark things sleep,

In hollow halls beneath the fells.

For ancient king and elvish lord

There many a gleaming golden hoard

They shaped and wrought, and light they caught

To hide in gems on hilt of sword.

On silver necklaces they strung 

The flowering stars, on crowns they hung

The dragon-fire, in twisted wire 

They meshed the light of moon and sun. 

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We away, ere break of day,

To claim our long-forgotten gold.

Goblets they carved there for themselves

And harps of gold; where no man delves

There lay they long, and many a song

Was sung unheard by men or elves.

Now, here's where things start to get interesting.  It seems a little out of place in context of the movie, but perhaps Smaug really attacked at night(?).  I personally think this is the Dwarves' memory of seeing The Lonely Mountain and surrounding area burning from a distance after the attack.  Having just barely escaped Erebor, they now watch from some distance away as the towering pine trees that once bordered their doors roar with dazzling flames.  They hear the wind moaning through the trees as it fans the murderously red dragon-flames, causing the fire to spread farther into the woodlands and surrounding area.  The once tall, majestic pine trees now blaze against the dark, midnight sky, like torches in the darkest caverns of the now desolate Erebor.  But, that's only my interpretation:

The pines were roaring on the height,

The winds were moaning in the night.

The fire was red, it flaming spread;

The trees like torches blazed with light.

This is the main reason I either think the previous stanza is out of place, or that my interpretation is wrong.  The next stanza tells off Smaug's brazen attack on the village of Dale, and the death and destruction he caused there.  The stanza after this one tells of how the Dwarves of Erebor fled their hallowed halls in Smaug's wake, and how he ruthlessly murdered many of their people:

The bells were ringing in the dale 

And men looked up with faces pale;

Then dragon's ire more fierce than fire

Laid low their towers and houses frail.

The mountain smoked beneath the moon;

The dwarves, they heard the tramp of doom.

They fled their hall to dying fall

Beneath his feet, beneath the moon.

And, finally, a promise to return.  Yes, they have been driven from Erebor by Smaug, but they shall return to seek vengeance upon the dragon and reclaim their halls, and (more importantly) their vast treasure:

Far over the misty mountains grim

To dungeons deep and caverns dim

We must away, ere break of day,

To win our harps and gold from him!

And, last but not least, Thorin sings the "chorus" in remembrance of everything he (and his people) have lost:

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away, ere break of day,

To find our long-forgotten gold.

I, personally, like my interpretation of the The pines were roaring stanza.  It makes a lot of sense to me.  But, maybe I'm wrong.

A Little [Random] Aside

My best friend growing up lived very near the base of a mountain in my home-state.  During one of the biggest fires in that area, I remember we could see the pinpricks of orange and yellow flame spread out over the side of the mountain, bright and ominous against the night sky.

I can't help but wonder if that was kind of like what the fleeing Dwarves of Erebor saw as they made their way farther and farther from the Mountain they called home.  I wonder if they watched the flames every night like my friend and I did, and thought about their homes (and their treasure).  I also wonder if there were any little Dwarf children who watched Erebor slowly burn from a distance, like me and my friend.  These are details Tolkien didn't really touch on, and I kinda doubt that Peter Jackson will touch on that any further in the remaining two films, so we may never know.

Shortening The Song (for movie purposes)

The stanza that sticks out to me the most is: 

The pines were roaring on the height,

The winds were moaning in the night.

The fire was red, it flaming spread;

The trees like torches blazed with light.

Again, maybe because of the song in the movie?  Maybe because of the way Tolkien paints such vivid depictions of what the song is describing?  Maybe because it reminds me of the mountain fire my friend and I watched from her living room window?  Who knows?

Regardless, although I (and other Tolkien fanatics I know) were saddened by the shortening of Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold, I will go so far as to say I think they picked the perfect two stanzas to summarize Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold.  Instead of the long, though beautifully vivid, song, they give us the reason for the Quest:

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away, ere break of day,

To find our long-forgotten gold.

And everything else, the terror of dragon fire and the wanton destruction and death, bundled into my favorite stanza:

The pines were roaring on the height,

The winds were moaning in the night.

The fire was red, it flaming spread;

The trees like torches blazed with light.

We really don't need all the details of what Erebor used to be, or the terrible attack of the dragon upon Dale (in all fairness, we've already seen that in the movie's prologue).  What we get, and all we really need at that point in the film, is the reminder of the purpose for the Quest (that this isn't just a fun little adventure between buddies), and the harrowing memory of the dragon's destruction.

The Way Back

I found out about The Way Back during my research into Saoirse Ronan's acting history for the paper I had to write for an acting class (I think I've mentioned that in at least one previous blog post).

At the time I was writing the paper, I will admit I hadn't actually seen any movies with Saoirse.  So, in desperation, I searched the internet for any movies she was in (other than The Host which hadn't yet been released at the time) that I might be able to obtain and watch prior to turning in the paper.  My investigation led me to City of Ember (2008).  Blockbuster happened to have a copy, and they were willing to hold it until I got out of class (3 hours later), and thus I was able to watch a Saoirse Ronan movie before turning in my paper (not due until the following Friday).

But, there was a list of other movies as well.  The Lovely Bones, Atonement, and Hanna to name a few.  One of those movies was The Way Back.  And, since that movie was on the list of Saoirse-movies, I watched the trailer.  

It's important to note that I've been interested in World War Two and Holocaust history ever since I was eight years old.  I love learning about Anne Frank and Corrie Ten Boom.  I love reading about their "adventures" hiding from and evading the Nazis.  In fact, I used to play that I was hiding from Nazis when I was younger.  Sick, twisted game, I know, but I didn't fully comprehend the horrors of the holocaust, and how terrifying really hiding from the Nazis would have been.

I also love the WW2 POW stories, like The Great Escape (which I, and others I know, think should be retitled The Great Escape Attempt That Ended Badly for 50 People) and the Van Ryan Express.  I love reading/hearing about their brave and elaborate escape attempts, and their daring journeys across enemy lands, hoping to make it to safety before they are recaptured.

That's why The Way Back stuck out to me so much.  More or less based on a true story, it chronicles the journey of several escapees from a Soviet Gulag as they tracked across about 4000 miles of Siberian craziness and merciless desert to reach India and freedom from Communism.

"This movie is dedicated to them," the opening title on the movie states.

Movies like these, I think, are testimonies to human ingenuity and determination.  God did not create mankind to be a bunch of quitters.  Instead, God gave us survival instincts, and the will to pull through, to conquer obstacles, and to keep going until we reach our destination.  Movies like these inspire me.

I just recently got around to watching The Way Back on Netflix.  With subtitles.  The movie is set in Soviet Russia, and therefore everyone (except Mr. Smith) speaks with very thick Russian/Polish/German accents, which - though lovely and authentic — are very difficult to understand at times.  Even more impressive is that everyone not only had to pull out the Russian accents for the film, but they also had to learn fluent Russian.  Colin Farrell and Saoirse Ronan are Irish, and Jim Sturgess is from England, yet they pulled off spotless Russian accents, as well as speaking (and singing) in fluent Russian.  Even flat-out American Ed Harris speaks fluent Russian.  As said before, I'm impressed.

Within the first 9 minutes of the movie, I was already finding some interesting things.

For one, the Soviet Union and the United States (defying all logic, and only becoming friends because of a mutual dislike for Hitler) joined forces during the 2nd World War.  Yet, Mr. Smith (Ed Harris) is an American prisoner.  Another prisoner in the Gulag tells the mean character, Janusz (not played by Saoirse Ronan, mind you) that, "Stalin hates foreigners," in reference to Mr. Smith's being an American. 

I found this interesting.  Even though Stalin and Roosevelt joined forces during WW2, Stalin was still the sick, twisty freak he'd always been, and possibly even imprisoned Americans.  Really, this shouldn't be surprising when you think about it.  But, I found it slightly ironic.  Maybe, this can be explained by the fact that The Way Back takes place in 1941, and the US didn't officially join the War (and thus enter a partnership with Stalin) until 1942?

Also interesting is Irena's story in terms of historical accuracy.  I haven't done a whole lot of research on the Soviet Union.  But, I have read Goodbye is Not Forever by Amy George (I highly recommend reading this book!).  Amy (an Americanized version of her Russian nickname "Emmi") grew up in Russia under Stalin, and was taken (along with her mother, brother, and sister) to Nazi Germany after the Germans invaded the Soviet Union.  When the War was over, all of the Soviets who had been taken to Germany were told that Soviet Russia would allow them to come home.  They find out, though, that the Soviet Union really considers them all traitors for leaving Russia (even though they didn't have a choice), and they were be imprisoned upon return.  So, did Emmi and her family escape?  Well, you'll just have to go read the book to find out.  

Returning to Irena's story.

Irena (who is played by Saoirse Ronan) says her parents were Polish Communists.  I assume they lived in Warsaw, but I don't remember this ever actually being confirmed.  Regardless, they moved their family to Moscow to be around fellow Communists (just like one big, happy family of Comrades from all over the world!).  But, Mother Russia had other, more devious plans.  The Soviets accused them of being spies from Nazi Germany, and had them arrested.  Irena and her brother were taken to an orphanage (images from the movie Hugo flash through my mind at this point).  Needless to say, she escaped.  Eventually.  Yup.  That's the Communist Soviet Union for you.

Also consistent with history is when Mr. Smith calls Irena's bluff (she has a back-up story).  She claims to have lived on a farm near Warsaw when the Soviets came.  Tragedy strikes, she's captured by Russians, so on and so forth.  But, as Mr. Smith points out, Warsaw was never under Soviet control.  Warsaw was taken by Germany when Hitler invaded.  I looked this up to confirm it after watching the movie.  

Busted!

Regardless of why she went there, she happens to be in Siberia and run into the six remaining escapees, Janusz, Mr. Smith, Valka (Colin Farrell), Voss, Zoran, and Tomasz.  Together, they break snow, ice, mesquites, deserts, dust storms, and all kinds of other things.  Of the seven fugitives, only three actually make it to their destination (India).

Other examples of how messed up the Soviet Union was.

Janusz (Jim Sturgess) is unjustly accused of spying.  To his credit, he doesn't sign the confession.  Not to his credit, his wife gets tortured in his place.  This isn't his fault, though.  That's just how messed up The Soviet Union is.  Later on, though, we discover that pretty much the same thing happened to Mr. Smith; the false accusation and the torture of a close family member.  So, it turns out, the two of them have some sort of connection, and are able to talk about it a little.  A little, mind you.

One other prisoner remarks that he was arrested for playing an aristocrat in a movie.  The Soviets accused him of glorifying the former something or other.  That whole thing gets him 10 years in Siberia.

Even crazier is Valka.  The guy's a prisoner in a Soviet gulag, but he's got a picture of Stalin and Lenin tattooed on his chest.  He tells his fellow escapees, "Don't you know what 'Stalin' means, funny man? Means man-of-steel. He takes from rich, and gives to poor."  Crazy.

I love Zoran's response, though: "Yes, of course he does.  Then he takes both of them, and puts them in a Gulag for 25 years."  Sad, but true.

Epic Quote: [as they cross the border from Russian into Mongolia] "Thank you, Mother Russia, for your hospitality.  But I will definitely not be coming back."

That made me laugh.  Pretty hard.  So hard that I rewind the movie and watched it again.  And then, turned on the computer and wrote it down for this blog post.   

The film is a display of no-nonsense filmmaking.  It jumps from one clip to another between the important scenes or conversations — brief clip of cooking, brief clip of eating, brief clip of someone waking someone else up, and then more walking —  which, in its own artistic way, shows the passage of time as a sort of graceful monotony it probably felt like to the real people.  After all, it's hard to squash 4000 miles of walking into a 2 hour movie.  Although I thought some of the jump-cuts were kind of sudden, I thought the filmmaking aided the story.  The jumps-cuts, I felt, were almost artistically necessary to tell the story in a timely manner.  

Also, we hardly see any repeat scenes.  We see two people's funerals, and a third one is summarized by a shot of a trail of footprints leading away from a third person's grave.  Death is never taken lightly in the movie, even though it occurs rather frequently in the gulag.  Valka is the only person who makes light of one person's death, saying, "One less mouth to feed."  His other five companions give him an icy death stare in response. 

Now, before you all run out to rent the movie for history/movie night with the family, this is not a film for young children.  It's rated PG-13 for a reason.  Language and inappropriate content are brief, but they are still there.  But, I still highly advice reading the Plugged In movie review before watching: http://www.pluggedin.com/videos/2011/q2/wayback.aspx

At least two guys get stabbed.  People drop dead during a snowstorm.  A man is shown having frozen to death.  Several people drop from heat stroke in the desert (heat is a foreign thing in Siberia).  Oh, and there's a rather large poisonous snake, for those of you who have snake-phobia (like me).  Aside from people dropping dead, various people being held at gun point, and mentioning of other people getting fingers and heads cut off, and being strangled by barbed wire, the language and inappropriate content are not suitable to children and teenagers. 

My advice: DO NOT watch this movie with children.  In fact, I probably wouldn't watch it until you're an adult.  If you watch it yourselves, have the fast forward button ready until after they escape the gulag.  After that, there's really only two swear words and one crude conversation.  Most of the inappropriate stuff happens in the gulag.

My advice to adults who wish to watch this movie:  If you have a movie filter (such as TV Guardian or Clear Play), I would highly suggest watching this movie with the filter.  If you do not have a filter, be aware of the content issues before viewing, and have the fast forward button ready until after they escape the Gulag.

Bilbo Strikes Again!

Ready for the shortest blog post I'll probably ever write?

And probably the least opinionated...

Yeah, I'm writing this whole blog post to share with you the newly released Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug trailer for your viewing enjoyment.

I was under the impression this would not be released until tomorrow, but I was very excited when I found it online this morning.  So, I just had to share my excitement with all of you!

Enjoy!

(or if that doesn't load, you can copy and paste the following link into your search engine or YouTube...it should locate it for you)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJhE5OWaSho

Master Samwise

So, I found myself thinking about Master Samwise Gamgee on my way to school the other day.

I have no idea why I was thinking about him.

But, I did have some very interesting thoughts while thinking about him.

Sam is a Hobbit of duty.  He sees it as his duty to go with Frodo wherever he goes.  Even Mordor.  But, he doesn't do so begrudgingly.  He's very happy to do so.

However, I don't really think Sam is aware of the exact scale of Frodo's quest until he looks into the Mirror of Galadriel.

Up until then, Sam goes on the quest as Frodo's companion, his buddy, someone to talk to when the journey gets boring, someone to keep Frodo from forgetting anything or put on the Ring.  He's aware that the Frodo must leave the Shire to destroy the Ring to save the world.  But, the world is so overwhelmingly big to Sam, and maps convey nothing to his mind.  At the beginning of the quest, he's on the quest for Frodo's company and protection.  "Here we go, off to save the world."

But, somehow, I don't think the quest actually meant more to him than that up until the Mirror of Galadriel episode.

In the Mirror of Galadriel, Sam is shown a vision of The Shire being burned and overrun by orcs.

The Shire.  Untouched by time or war or upheaval.  Destroyed.

This is no longer some very large quest for a very large world.  I think in that moment, in seeing that vision, the quest suddenly became personal to Sam.

Sam has family back in the Shire.  He's got friends.  He's got a mega-crush on a pretty Hobbit named Rosie.  Up until then, he assumed that if the Ring was returned to Sauron, the world would end, but the Shire would go on as usual.

Upon seeing the vision of the Shire being destroyed, I think Sam finally becomes aware that even the Shire can be destroyed.  That the fate of the Shire, his family, friends, and especially Rosie is also tied up with the fate of the Ring.

If Frodo fails, not just Rohan, Gondor, and the other places like that will be taken over and all their people enslaved or killed.  The Shire will fall too.  The Hobbits will be enslaved too.  These are Sam's family and friends we're talking about now.  Suddenly, Sam becomes aware of exactly how imperative it is for Frodo to succeed on the quest to destroy the Ring.

And now, Sam isn't just on willing to follow Frodo to Mount Doom out of duty and friendship.  He's willing to do so in the hopes of saving his loved ones from impending doom.

This is Sam's growing up moment.  Technically, he's only 36.  He's spent his life hanging with Hobbits his age, learning to read from Bilbo, and gardening with his father (and in his father's stead when his father gets too old to do so anymore).  Sam's had a rather sheltered life.  He's heard of Mordor, of course, but Mordor is so far away that it doesn't really bother him.

Now, he realizes that everything he's every known or cared about is just as dependent on the destruction of the Ring as everyone else in Middle Earth.  And, he is more than willing to go with Frodo, to encourage him, to keep him company, and to make sure he gets that Ring in the fire.

I don't think Sam's being particularly selfish by insisting on going with Frodo to Mordor.  He definitely cares about his dad and Rosie, and everyone else in the Shire.  But, he could just say, "Okay, you're going to Mordor, I'm going home.  Good luck!"

He could have said, "You know what, Mordor is too dangerous.  If I go there, I'll never see my Dad or Rosie again.  So, so long, Frodo!"

But, he doesn't.

He knows his purpose.  He's there to help the Ring Bearer (Frodo) in fulfilling his quest.  Even when Frodo tries to sneak off on his own, Sam insists on going with him (nearly drowning himself in an attempt to follow Frodo's boat).  Not because he's hoping to get anything out of it.  But, because;

1. he's willing to go off on a deadly quest, from which he may never return, if he knows that Rosie and his Dad might be spared enslavement and death, even if Sam himself never makes it home, and

2. he really does care about Frodo.  After all, Frodo is one of his friends, although he is also Sam's employer.  If Frodo goes off on his own, it's ten to one whether or not the Ring will actually get destroyed or will be retaken by the enemy.  If Sam goes with him, Frodo's got a fighting chance.

Those were the thoughts going through my mind that morning on my way to school.

The Host

Happy [late] Birthday Saoirse Ronan!  Just saw your latest movie, The Host, the day after your birthday!  (…not that you'll ever read this...)

Despite my dislike for anything Stephanie Meyers, I did break down and see The Host.

I had my reasons: I like movies about aliens, the concept of the story was interesting, and I was really excited to watch Saoirse Ronan jump off buildings (my inner dare-devil/stunt double got a vicarious experience).  Plus, after the essay I had to write about Saoirse for school, it seemed appropriate to, a) see one of her films, and b) see one of her films as close to her birthday as possible, since I now know when that is.

You know that scary moment when you wake up and realize that you know almost exactly how old some of those actors and actresses are?  Freddie Highmore is an example.  We're roughly three months apart (he's older).  Kinda scary that I would even know that.

Back on topic.

On the surface, The Host doesn't even really seem like something Stephanie Meyers would write.  I mean, where were the vampires?  Where were the werewolves?  Where was the overwhelming confusing love triangle?

This is my theory.  The vampires and werewolves were too busy fighting off the Volturi at the end of the fifth Twilight movie to notice the alien parasites as they first set "foot" on Earth.  By the time Breaking Dawn part 2 ended, it was too late to save humanity or Earth from the invading aliens.  And thus, Bella, Edward, Jacob, and everyone else all you Twilight fans were so fond of, were conquered by little jellyfish looking aliens from another world.  May they rest in peace.

But, that's only my theory.

While people like me may breathe a deep sigh of relief over the welcome absence of vampires and werewolves, the love triangle is still present in The Host.  It is summed up so simply yet appropriately by Wanderer (I think the line is something along the lines of, "These humans are a confusing species."), who expresses her confusion over Jared's reaction to Melanie's slapping him after Jared had kissed Wanderer to "reach" Melanie, who is still trapped in Wanderer's "body" (which is technically Melanie's body that Wanderer "took over").

If you're already lost, it's okay.

As stated earlier, the love triangle is still there, only in a different way.  Allow me to try to explain:

Melanie loves Jared.  Jared loves Melanie.  Wanderer "takes over" Melanie's body, and the two of them go off together to locate Jared.  Jared still loves Melanie, but has a hard time with the concept that Wanderer's in there as well.  Melanie doesn't like it when Wanderer kisses Jared.  Meanwhile, Wanderer and another dude named Ian start having feelings for each other, which bothers Melanie since this is still her body we're talking about.  Wanderer is very confused ("You're angry when I kiss a man you do love, and you get angry when I kiss a man you don't.  It's very confusing.").  Can we blame Wanderer for her confusion?

Saoirse, as I'm noticed in the movies and movie trailers I've seen her in, is very talented when it comes to facial expressions and dramatic scenes.  The whole time you can almost see the wheels turning in her head as she's acting and interacting with the other actors.  It takes serious talent to act like you're being involuntarily controlled by a secondary voice in your head, and even more so to do so while kissing someone.  Saoirse nailed it.

Someone should try putting Saoirse Ronan and Richard Armitage in a movie together.  I think they would go together well, because they're both very good with facial expressions.  Just saying.

Those of you who may have seen The Lovely Bones (Peter Jackson, 2009) may remember Saoirse as 14-year old Susie Salmon (it's okay to say, "Wait!  That was her?").  You may also remember the scene when Susie realizes that she's been murdered (I find it really funny that she has to realize the fact that she's dead), and screams "no!" several times while the background grows almost unbearably bright and she starts to kind of evaporate.  I haven't seen the movie, nor to I suggest seeing it, but I have seen a clip of that one scene.  Susie's screams are heart-rending.  This is a girl who had her whole life ahead of her, who had a date with a handsome classmate on Saturday, and all of that has been stolen from her by a guy who looks like Stanley Tucci with 1970's glasses and a mustache.  You feel Susie's emotions seeping through the screen, threatening to overpower your own emotions as you sit there attempting to eat your popcorn without crying (or passing out from the sight of all that blood).

Like Susie before her, Wanderer has a scream scene, when she accidentally walks into a human clinic and see dead humans and dead aliens lying all over the place.  Can we blame her for freaking out at the sight of all those dead aliens?  And, once again, Saoirse delivers one of those heart-rending "no!" screams that make you want to cry because you almost sorta kinda feel her emotions flooding out toward you from the big screen.  Saoirse nails stuff like that.  I really can't think of another young actress who could have pulled that off.  I say Saoirse is a "young" actress only because she's younger than me (again, kinda scary that I know that).

In closing, I will touch on my last pet peeve: film quality.  In summary, if you go to see The Host expecting it to be as stunning, moving, and/or amazing as Lord of the Rings or Passion of the Christ, you will be disappointed.  But, if you tell yourself you can't believe you just spent $9.75 a ticket to see this movie that is probably going to be a waste of time and money, you will probably be pleasantly surprised.

Ah, where do I begin with quality?

Well, on Friday, I and a classmate were asked about our opinions of the movie.  While I struggled to get a word in inch-wise, I listened as my classmate explained how she thought the storyline was really weak.  I did not find the storyline to be so.  I thought it was cohesive and relatively easy to follow.  Some of the effects are great (the view of Earth from outer space is cool!), and the scenery is vivid even for the New Mexico desert.  However, there were a few things that bothered me.  Just little things, but I tend to be nit-picky.  Some of the sets looked manufactured, which is fine for a building, but I'm talking about the cave-formations in the humans' hide out.  It looked more like plaster than rock at times.  My only other quality pet peeve was Saoirse's eyes.  As Wanderer, she has those really glassy, shiny blue eyes (as do all the aliens in the film).  After the aforementioned scream scene, Wanderer goes running off to be alone (I find it ironic and funny that she dashes off to her prison cell to achieve this solitude).  The scene cuts between her and the outside scenery several times (probably showing the passage of time), but when we return to her, it seems that she no longer has those alien-blue eyes.  Then, in the following scene (a confrontation with Melanie's uncle) she's got the alien-blue eyes again.  Maybe it was just me.  Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Now that I have thoroughly bashed The Host and made fun of it and it's love triangle, I have a confession.  I still can't believe I'm saying this, but I have to admit that...I actually enjoyed watching The Host.  I tried not to talk about it too much in front of my friend (who saw the movie with me), but I actually did like it a lot more than I let on.  I resisted the urge to talk about it after the movie and on the drive home.

Does this mean that if Open Roads starts selling Wanderer plushies, I would go buy one?  No.  I may have liked it, but I'm not that obsessed.

But, I didn't like it because of the love triangle.  I liked the chase scenes, the intensity of hiding from alien search parties, the scenery, and - of course - the stunts.  The rest of the time it was like, "Oh, there they go kissing...again."

But, I wouldn't mind watching it again.

That's all I've got for The Host.

PS - If asked whether I liked The Host or The Hobbit better, I'm still going with The Hobbit.

The Bible, 2013 - Episodes 4 and 5

Sorry it's taken me so long to finish writing about The Bible TV series.  The series ended on Easter Sunday, but...it's out on DVD now!  So, my review isn't quite irrelevant.  All of the teachers at college seem to have gotten together in a mega campaign to make the last couple weeks since Easter as painfully stressful as possible, which then prevented me from blogging or doing pretty much anything other than school.  When I was finally free, I was temporarily distracted by The Host, which I finally got to see on Saturday (keep an eye out for a Host related post in the relatively near future).  So, now I've finally gotten back on track.

Due to the fact that two Bible episodes have passed since my last Bible post, I'm going to combine my thoughts about both Episodes 4 and 5 into this single post.

Are you ready?

Episode Four

Ah.  Episode 4 was so refreshing after the carnage and bloodshed which has occurred over the course of Episodes 2 and 3.  No one's eyes got gouged out.  No one's throats got sliced.  The fact that I, the person who watches (most of) Passion of the Christ almost every year and forced myself to desensitize to decapitation in order to watch The Hobbit in the theatre, is saying it was hard to watch says something about how violent episodes 2 and 3 were.

Best of all, Jesus was the central character in episode 4!

Episode 4 focuses on some key events in Jesus' earthly ministry.  Therefore, there is a noticeable lack of hand-to-hand combat and all the other stuff that was hard to watch in previous episodes.  Obviously, due to time restraints, they were unable to get ALL of the key events of Jesus' earthly ministry into this episode, but the episode does a very good and accurate job of portraying the events that are shown.

There were seriously, like, no content issues in this episode.  Jesus gets arrested toward the end of the episode, and we do see him get a little beaten up.  This might be a little unsettling for some really young children, but you know what your kids can handle better than I do.

I say "a little" beaten up because I watched Passion of the Christ on Good Friday evening.  Every single other Passion film pales in comparison to Passion of the Christ.  Just saying.

Episode Five

...And, they're back on a violence spry.

Episode covers Jesus' encounter with Pilot, his crucifixion, resurrection, and some of the acts of the apostles.  Considering that it took Mel Gibson roughly two hours to tell the whole Crucifixion story (with a two-five minute resurrection scene to top everything off), the makers of the Bible TV series did really well squashing all of these events into their timeframe.

I'd just watched Passion of the Christ on Good Friday, and the final episode of The Bible aired on Easter Sunday.  So, I watched The Bible's version of the crucifixion with Passion of the Christ fresh in my mind.  I found it very interesting that The Bible's crucifixion scene seemed almost identical to The Passion's.  Little nit-picky things like the high of the whipping post, the amount of times Jesus falls on the way to Golgotha, the manner in which Jesus falls, how Mary (Jesus' mother) rushes to his side when he does fall and how she kisses his feet when he's on the cross, the way they filmed the nails being hammered into Jesus' hands and feet, and even the way the cross is raised into position were all very reminiscent of Passion of the Christ.

The hugest difference was that The Bible's crucifixion scene is much shorter and less brutally gruesome than Passion's.  This is great for those who get a little squeamish around large amounts of blood.  However, there are still large amounts of blood (not as much as Passion, but still), so young children could be disturbed by that.

But, I've watched Passion of the Christ, so I could handle The Bible's crucifixion scene.  But, if you or your kids are squeamish around blood, you might want to be careful.  Know your limits and know your kids.

The Resurrection is beautifully portrayed, though, and in much more detail than in The Passion.

And then comes the persecution of the apostles.

Several people get really beaten up by Paul (before his conversion) and his cronies.  Also, the apostle Stephen takes some pretty hard blows to his head while he's being stoned.  After the killing blow, he see blood trickling out of his nose.  We see other apostles get banged up and kicked around, one apostle gets his head whopped off, and another guy is chained up and forced to drink poison.

Scenes such as Paul conversion, the apostles receiving the Holy Spirit, and what is supposed to represent John's revelation are very nicely done and chill-inducing.

The acting throughout the episode is superb!  The quality of the production are stunning (and meet my ridiculously high standards).

Overall

I personally loved this latest television adaption of The Bible, and I was very sad to see it end.  But, the DVD is on my birthday wish list, so I will (hopefully) be able to watch it again soon.

Plus, I could always just go read the Book again, which is something I always highly suggest.  Especially when it comes to The Bible.

The Bible, 2013 - Episode 3

Wow.  Episode #3 is just flat out brutal.  

I forced myself to desensitize to violence because I didn't know what to expect in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.  I watch Passion of the Christ almost every year.  I can handle violence.  The Bible, ep. 3 borders on the amount of brutality I can't handle.

I'm watching the episode as I write this so that I don't miss any little detail.

Don't get me wrong, The Bible episode 3 is very well made, very exciting, and accurate to the Bible.  I still love it.  I just want those of you who may be a little squeamish to brutality in media to be aware of things that might be difficult for you to watch.  The fact that I'm having some trouble watching it without covering my eyes indicates that people who have trouble watching Narnia or Lord of the Rings would have trouble watching this episode.

This episode covers Nebuchadnezzar's attack of Jerusalem, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, the Birth of Jesus, and the Beginning of Jesus' earthly ministry.  And thus, a lot of blood is spilled between the opening of the show and the end credits.  

The Babylonian army literally massacre everyone in Jerusalem.  Well, except for Daniel and his buddies, that is.  Nebuchadnezzar has King Zedekiah's son's slaughtered moments before personally poking out King Zedekiah's eyes (we see this happening).  Later, we see a now blind former King Zedekiah being led into exile, and we are not spared from seeing the gory sockets where his eyes used to be.  Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are, of course, thrown into the fiery furnace, but are not hurt because the Lord shows up and protects them.  Nebuchadnezzar, on the other hand, reaches into the fire himself and is burned.  After Daniel's episode in the lion's Den, two other guys are thrown in, and we hear them screaming off camera as, we assume, they are devoured by the lions.  

400 plus years later, Roman soldiers sack the city of Nazareth, including breaking in on a Shabbat meeting, and randomly selecting prisoners.  King Herod stabs a man in the neck, and squeezes blood from the wound with his hands.  Babies are slaughtered, but we only see the soldiers take the children away from their parents, and the soldiers wielding swords.  We see a ton of crucified bodies on a hill outside Galilee, some of which are pretty gruesome.  We also see a couple guys being crucified.  Near the end of the episode, we see a soldier swinging a sword toward John the Baptist's neck, but the scene cuts away before we see the actual beheading.  But, we do get to see a silhouette of the soldier lifting John's severed head from the ground.

King Herod is shown with leaches on his back, and we assume he is very ill.  Herod also, in a state of paranoia, has one of his sons strangled to death.

Another thing younger viewers should be aware of is that Satan is portrayed as being really creepy (which he is).  But, this film portrayal may be a little disturbing for younger viewers.

As with the previous two episodes, some of the events have been completely brushed over or squashed to make them all fit into a two hour block of time.  This, unfortunately, meant that some of the accuracy went out the window.  As a filmmaker, I understand why they made some of the choices they made, but if you're an accuracy freak like me, you may be a little disappointed.  

Don't think for a minute that I didn't enjoy episode 3 just because of the critiques and the list of gory, gruesome contents.  I still loved the episode, and the whole show thus far.  And, there are some good things about this episode.

The stories that are told are, more or less, told as accurately to the original text as the filmmakers could get them in the time in which they told the stories.  Some of the details have been squashed together due to time restraints, but they are still the same events as told about in The Bible.

Also, I thought Mary and Joseph's relationship was very sweet.  He compliments her, and protects her from the sacking Romans.  Later, after Gabriel assures him that the baby Mary has conceived is really the Son of God, Joseph bursts through crowds of angry people to save Mary from people who intend to stone her.  After Jesus is born, there's a scene where we see Joseph running through Bethlehem, calling desperately for Mary, juxtaposed with clips of the massacre of the infant boys of Bethlehem.  It turns out to be a dream, but I thought that scene did a really great job of not only showing God's warning to Joseph to flee Bethlehem, but also to show just how much he really loves and cares for her, and for baby Jesus.

And, most importantly, Jesus makes His entrance in this episode.  Everything from His birth to His first encounter with Peter.  

The portrayal of Jesus was my main original concern with the series.  I assumed that because the show was on the History Channel, that they probably wouldn't wan to portray Jesus as being the actual Son of God, since secular media and history buffs don't really like to admit the Bible is real, or that Jesus was really God Incarnate.  However, so far, The Bible series seems to be portraying Jesus correctly, that is as the actual, honest to goodness Son of God, God Incarnate, The "With Us" God, as my Pastor calls Him.  That made me very, very happy.

We'll get to see more of Him next week.

Now, I'm really curious.  Will the remaining 2 episodes be about Jesus' earthly ministry, death, and resurrection?  Or will at least one of the episodes cover the events that occurred after Jesus's ascension into Heaven?  I guess we shall just have to wait and see.